Yes, I really, really did and I have zero regrets! In fact, everyone is happy for it. Let me set the scene: For a few months I have been running myself ragged with work and dealing with life responsibilities and I realised that I needed a break. I was snapping at everyone and I had no motivation to do even the things that gave me pleasure (no writing, or reading was done). I was just working and taking care of my child and I stopped being me. My husband noticed my changed mood and after a long conversation I admitted I just needed a break to reset. I joked about taking a weekend trip somewhere and he surprised me with saying he thought that that was a great idea. He told me ‘while I know you love us, I know we both can be a bit much and I think you need to spend some time away from me and L to truly give yourself a break.’
So I decided that I would take a ‘staycation’ to Crews Inn for a weekend all by my lonesome. I pulled out my calendar and the hubby and I found the best weekend that would work for everyone and I booked my stay.
Okay,no, it wasn’t as easy as that line seems to indicate. I hemmed and hawed and my brain tried to tell me why I should not use the money on such a ‘frivolous’ exercise when we need other ‘things’…and bills…and, and…responsibilities! I literally tried to talk myself out of why I should do this, while simultaneously understanding why I needed it. I spoke to friends and they all said that if they had the opportunity they would take it up in a heartbeat, so I needed to stop acting a fool and just do it! So, I did it. I got paid for a job and made sure the bills were paid and I booked my room. The ease of booking added to the guilt and stress I felt, but also to the excitement. I was actually going to spend a night alone…heck two nights alone for the first time in maybe 7 or 8 years. It was mind-boggling and confusing and exciting.
But, I did it! I left without much prep aside from reminding L not to give daddy any trouble, do his share of the weekend chores (he has to fold and pack away his clothing), and I made him something special to eat when he came back home that afternoon. I have never been one of those women who were afraid that my husband could not take care of my son in my absence so I did not need to meal prep (he can cook), I did not need to do ‘pre-laundry’ (he can wash: in fact he does it during the week, while weekends are mine), I did not have to leave a list of chores that needed to be done (yes, men don’t see everything that need to be done, but I knew at the very least the house would not be a disaster zone when I came back). In any case, I was able to let go of all the minutiae, gave L and hubby a hug at reception and told them I loved them and checked in. I went up to my gorgeous room, collapsed on the bed and smiled for a while.
I must say that one of the things that helped me not to just call and cancel my weekend was primarily my husband who acknowledged I needed a break. He was able to admit that I do so much for them both and never get breaks…not true ‘away-from-the-family-for-a-significant-time’ type of breaks anyways. He supported it all, he even asked me how much I wanted to be ‘bothered’ by him during my weekend- I told him I would message whenever and he could respond. This worked well. I sent morning voice notes to him and L and goodnight messages as well.
Now, I was only away for two nights (Friday evening to Sunday midday), but it was the reset I needed and I absolutely recommend it! I was able to spend time without hearing ‘mommy’ repeated, or being asked to ‘watch what I can do’, or asked for the millionth time for some sort of sustenance (the kid eats every minute I swear). I marveled at the fact that I sat in bed and wasn’t asked to move, I ate when I wanted (and in bed too haha) without wondering if I would have to share (you know what I mean); I lounged in bed until I was good and ready to move. Best of all, I was able to get up and go for a walk or do something (like use the pool) without having to think of the safety/pleasure/care of the tiny human.
It. Was. Magical.
I slept, I ate, I took walks and watched the water and the boats and best of all, I wrote. I did things that I couldn’t have done if I had my family with me and I basked in it. I felt re-energized and I was able to ‘unplug’ and relax as best as possible, while still missing them (but not obsessing about what they were doing).
I was reset and I came home at peace and was happy to see the two guys in my life. I have been able to jump start some more writing since I came back, I am even doing this blog (yay! it has been months!) and I plan to do another momcation again whenever I can.
So, if you can afford it, check yourself into a nice bed and breakfast or hotel for a weekend. Tell the family don’t call unless there is an emergency and allow yourself to unplug. If a hotel/b&b isn’t in the budget maybe spend a weekend by a friend or take an afternoon off to your favourite place. Moms need time-offs and breaks too, and don’t talk yourself out of the notion. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for spending cash on a momcation because you have kids, or the idea that you need to have your husband and kid/s strapped to you 24/7 to have the title of ‘good mother’. Good mothers are those who also take care of their mental health, and taking breaks and time off are a part of that.